Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
