How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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