I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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