yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
