a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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