In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
