You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
