Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
