My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
