Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
