Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
