Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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