I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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