the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
