Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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