Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
