so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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