you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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