bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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