well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize