I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
