You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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