yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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