i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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