You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
