cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
