does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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