I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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