garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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