some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
