I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
