If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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