Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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