Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
PANTIES FOUND
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