Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize