It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
