Do you still have your period?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
