I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
