Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
