Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
