ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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