I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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