I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
