You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
