i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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