I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
