Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
