Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
