I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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