There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
