we're chasing vodka with high fives
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
