walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
