pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would ride that face into the sunset
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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