nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
