i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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