He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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