Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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