theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i love accidental penises.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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