Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
