He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize