I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
