mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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