just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
