I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
