i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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