His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
