i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize